Having a new journal makes me want to write more. It's nice to know that I am writing to myself and only I will read it. I am only here to map out my thoughts more easily. It's like balancing your check book. Or using a calculator...

Anyway... I forgot why I was here in the first place. I had alot to say, but I forget now.

Something about Dustin, and Bryden and all of that confusion.

Chase begged me to go out with her after work, to an after party. It was Morgan's new place. He's running a club now. I didn't want to go at 4am, but she talked me into it, and we stopped by Del Taco, and planned to eat when we got there. She agreed to leaving 15 minutes from the time we walked in.

We pulled up in this alley off of Santa Monica and La Brea. There were two gay guys standing next to a car that we pulled up next to, to park. They both had their shirts off. One was wearing a coyboy hat. He looked about 20. And then other looked around 45. (Hey.. Gay and nothin' but a number. haha)... They were probably boning before we pulled up.

We walked into the party, through a big red door, with a sign on it, "Denise's Party". I have no idea who Denise is, but she wasn't a girl. Infact there wasn't one girl in there except for Chase and I. Wow. Talk about feeling out of place. (so that's where the gay dudes in the parking lot came from!) They all just sort of turned to us like we were a couple of black people getting on a white bus... It was funny, Chase and I had no idea what we were about to walk into. So we walk through to the back of the warehouse looking loft thing, sat down on the floor, and ate our borritos. It was the best entertainment I've had while eating a bean and cheese borrito in my life. No one gave us two looks. It was great. The only jealousy we got in that room was from the 8 foot drag queen.

...So I just got home. And the sun is comming up. I'd like to make it to the gym tomorrow. I have a movie date with Dustin tomorrow. I just hope he pitches in his share. I've been paying for everything latley. I mean EVERYTHING. Why do I always end up supporting my boyfriends? What is that? I don't want him to pay for my ticket at the movie, I would just appreciate it if he paid for his own for a change. This relationship is getting a little expensive. And I suck his dick all the time, and fuck him.... With all this wining and dining I think I should be the pimp getting the head.

aaaahh..... goodnight.